Thursday, September 03, 2015

"The September of My Years..."

"And the days dwindle on, a precious few, September...November." September already... of 2015.

When we are young, we don't much think about getting old! When we are old, thoughts of being "old" pretty much take over our lives on one level, at least. Physically, I FEEL old, at least some of the time. Getting out of bed, or up from a chair after reading for a few hours... Yet it's the rest of the time that is really important. So it seem to me. And time really flies by!

I've not been writing, obviously. But I have been living, changing, growing, becoming an old crone, I suppose. I no longer promise that I'll write more blog posts, although I might wish to do so. I enjoy ruminating and writing my ruminations. I enjoy the feedback, too. Yet I haven't made writing a priority in my life for quite some time. I wonder why...

One reason may be hidden in the recesses of my memory. I happened upon a box of old journals. I kept personal journals for 20 years or so. It was important for me to write nearly every morning - my thoughts, feelings, accomplishments, failures, doubts, etc. Yet when I paused in our packing last year to read one or two of those old journals, I realized how self-centered I have been. My writings are all egocentric. An embarrassment to me since I always perceived my writing to be part of a spiritual exercise. But my writings were all about me, about how I questioned, doubted, feared, etc. just about everything in my life. Not much spirituality of a healthy sort in that.

So I began blogging back in 2005, partly to change my writing focus. If I were to reread all my old posts, perhaps I would find that I'm still terribly self-centered! In fact, I'm sure that's what I would find since my blog seems to have become my brag-sheet. I've shared my family, my quilting, my art, my life. Then again, it would hardly be wise to share other people's stories, lives, etc.

Frank and I were chatting this morning that we only have our own perspectives from which to view the world. We used to talk about objective reality - and decided long ago that only God, should there be a God, would have the benefit of objective reality. It seems we humans cannot separate our history from our present understanding of reality. Everything is colored by personal experience and, perhaps, shared experiences of others.

So here I am, writing my thoughts, as per usual. I will continue to share my art, thoughts, ideas, love of nature and more. But I won't promise much of anything other than I will write when Spirit moves me to write.

Meanwhile, enjoy the blogs of others. Enjoy your own story. Find the delight in this day - for surely there is at least one spot of joy in every day for every one. Provided we allow our attention to focus on it.